1) Be gentle with criticism. Artists are given a bad rap for being whiny when actually, they are sensitive. This is why they are able to create works of art. Think about what you're saying when you talk to an artist about what they do, and try not to be pessimistic. Don't be the jerk at the party that says "Well, you know that business/ scene/ movement/ field is totally OVER." Or, "Are you TRYING TO BE LIKE (fill in post-grunge top 40 band here)?" Chances are, they are not "trying to be" anybody except themselves on a good day. If you don't like it, you don't need to ream them for it. Be polite. And if you feel the dying urge to tell them something about how their performance could be improved, try to think of your "constructive criticism," instead as "constructive comments." Such as: "I really love the images you did of neighbor Sally. I would even love to see one of her face, because the other areas are so well done..." or "Wow, that was groundbreaking, you're almost channeling Yoko Ono... imagine what new inspiration you'd have mixing that with some unique instruments, or a guitar player..." Yes, polite, gentle suggestions will go over much better than "Don't you need some kind of back up plan these days?" or "So how much money CAN you make from doing this?"
2) Be mindful. Most artists probably did not grow up in an environment where their talents were focused on and well-fostered and encouraged. Those that had this privilege are quite lucky, but not necessarily the norm. Choosing to create is not just a choice like deciding where to go on vacation, but also a sacrifice. There is a reason why “starving + “artist” became a phrase. Creating art takes time. This is time that artists choose to spend creating instead of, say, taking on a second or 3rd job, or starting an internet business, or going golfing with bankers. They choose to create because they’re moved to in some way and want to leave something of value behind. The music you listen to and the pictures you love to look at didn’t get there because someone just thought it’d be nice for you to see them or hear them. It took time, effort, work, and money for the artist to get them out into the world. Please be mindful of this the next time your sister’s boyfriend hands you a flyer to see his band play. You don’t have to go, but please don’t wad it up and throw it at him and call him a name like “bandtard.”
3) Money is a totally appropriate gift. If you’re an artist, and grew up in a family where your parents felt money is “not personal enough” , and thought it necessary to buy you something to wrap up and put in a box, like, say, a jogging suit, then you may know the feel of the strange “guilt grimace” that attacks your facial muscles around holiday giftgiving and receiving. For those of you who have an artist in your life or family, please consider this permission to JUST GIVE CASH. If you feel like this is still not appropriate, then here’s another idea: Buy their CD / painting/ photograph/ jewelry and give it as a lovely gift to someone else.
Artists are like carpenters: they build things. It costs money for them to have the materials to do so, and it takes labor for them to build it. You can help them out a whole lot by just gifting them with the ability to buy their materials of choice, so they can keep doing what they do. This means more to them than any gadget, clothing, or DVD collection ever will. And you will have the empowered feeling of knowing you helped create their next masterpiece by helping them live.
4) Don’t feel it necessary to announce to them the day of that you can’t make it to their performance/ opening/ concert/ presentation. If the artist in your life has an important event coming up, they have a hundred things on their mind, one of them being “will I have enough people show up?” Of course, everyone can’t make it to every event. We know this as artists. But the last thing we want to hear before our big moment is “Wow, I’m not going to make it because XXX’s parents are in town, and they got confused about our schedule and want to go to this Mexican place tonight., and…” Because at a very crucial pre-presentation moment, you might as well throw at knife into our backs and deflate us, because A) we are feeling very sensitive at that point in time, and B) we don’t want to hear whatever the plausible very valid excuse is at that moment, because we’ve just spent the entire week perspiring to get this thing ready for people like you, and have other things on our minds.
Miss Art Manners would recommend that if you can’t make it, let the day go by without drawing attention to your social emergency, and simply send a lovely simple email apology note the following day, when the artist is waking up lazy and pleasant with glitter still in her hair, on her bed of roses from the adoring fans that did manage to make it. She will forgive you, and you won’t be remembered for causing her to throw her cell phone in the toilet right before the performance of her life.
5) That being said, if you get invited to multiple performances from a friend who is an artist, go to ONE!
Somebody’s art is an expression of who they are as a human being. If you have a friend who is an artist, and you constantly find things to get in the way of going to that quarterly art exhibit, happy-hour cocktail lounge, or short film presentation at the quirky loft in the bad part of town, here’s an exercise for you: Next time you get an invitation, try, just once, to make it your priority to attend. This isn’t so much for the artist, as it is for you… You will not only learn something new about your friend, and meet other people are into your friend’s art, but you may even have an experience that really enhances your life. But if you stay home watching hulu again like a fuddy-duddy, you won’t! Get up! Get out!
1) Don’t forget about COMPLIMENTS!
Honest, specific compliments mean so much, and show that you’re actually paying attention to what’s going on. Feel free to COMPLIMENT an artist!!
They will remember it!
Here are some examples:
-“It seems like you really spent a lot of time on this.”
-“It must take a lot of perservance to put together a show like this.”
-“You really impressed me with your theme.”
-“I knew you had talent, but I can really see it growing.”
-“I really had an experience with that particular painting, because it reminded me of …”
6) If you know someone who is talented and is an artist, spread the word! The best referrals in any field are word of mouth. People get discovered this way, get jobs this way, and support themselves this way. If you know someone who deserves success, then start telling people about them yourself! Send an email to your friends with a link to the artist’s site. Tell people who work in advertising/ marketing about them. You never know where these things could lead. Don’t be shy! Because we’re shy enough about our own creations that we’re probably not going to ask you!
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